If you are like most moms, then you really want to be, well, a good mom! You probably think about it all the time, worry, wonder what your kids will be like when they grow up.... On your road of trying to be the best mom, here are a few things that you should never say to your children.
1. Stupid, dumb, slow-witted, retarded, etc. Any word that denotes a low intelligence should not be used, especially when joking. Some parents think that it is ok to say words like these teasingly, but in reality, children don't get a good grasp on how jokes work until they are nearly adults. You may feel like it is funny, and they may even laugh, but the truth is that it can leave a wound deep in them.
2. Fat, chubby, overweight, even 'not that skinny' are all terms to be avoided. Your children, especially your girls, are growing up in a world obsessed with image. They will be pummeled with digs about their looks. The absolute last place that a child needs to hear an insult about their weight is from their mother.
3. "We don't______with ______ kind of people". Children learn their attitudes about the world at home. Even if you find yourself struggling to see people equitably, DON'T pass that on to your children. Love them enough to want them to have a fresh, unadulterated view of the world. Love them enough to not raise them with racism or biases.
4. "Your father is such as _______". Almost more important than the way you treat your children is the way that you treat their father. Even if you are separated from your spouse for one reason or another, that person is still the father of your child and will have exposure to your child. Don't ever try to pit your child against the other parent- it is an awful position to be in. You want the best for your child, right? Your child will most likely end up with someone like their parents. If you build a poor image about your spouse to your child, then they are more likely to end up with exactly the kind of person you describe. The way that you speak about your spouse will change your child's view of them (for good or for bad) and they will subconsciously learn that whatever kind of a person you describe is an ok person to be married to.Whatever your spouse might be, if you insult them to your children (stupid, lazy, jerk, etc.), then you are increasing the chance that your child will marry a stupid, lazy jerk. And I think it's safe to say that is not what you want for your child.
Keep plugging on and plugging on- keep on trying to do your best for your child. As long as you are constantly striving to be your best, you can feel safe that You. Are. A. Good. Mom.