I cannot profess to be a perfect mother. I strive, daily (sometimes hourly) to improve myself and be the best mama I can be, but I know that I have yet to learn all the ins-and-outs of what it takes to be a fabulous mother. I am grateful that it takes years for my children to grow up, as it gives me years of time to improve my parenting skills.
Knowing that, I also cannot pretend to give you all the advice you would need to be the world's best mom, so I have consulted with several other wonderful mothers to give you a list of five differences between a good mom and a great mom.
1. A good mom takes her kids to the park. A great mom plays with her kids at the park.
Your children may or may not be at a park-going age, but the principle is this. A good mother can and will take her children to different places to entertain them and teach them. A great mother
engages with her children.
2. A good mom protects her children from falls. A great mom teaches her children how to pick themselves up.
Again, this is a principle. No, I don't think you should stand by while your children hurt themselves. But I do believe that while it is important to protect your children from harm, a great mother will protect her children while
also teaching them what to do when her children (inevitably) get into accidents and make mistakes. Help them learn mistakes and accidents are ok and that they happen to everyone.
3. A good mom keeps her home clean. A great mom teaches her children to clean.
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scrubbing and scrubbing |
There are far too many children and young adults that have been raised to be babied. It is much easier to clean your home yourself than it is to teach your children to clean well. However. The extra time spent teaching your children to clean and pick up after themselves will not only help them be clean, but will teach them self discipline.
4. A good mom does her best to not make mistakes with her children. A great mom apologizes when she does.
What I mostly want to emphasize here is that moms need to apologize to their children when they've made a mistake. Your children will learn how to handle their own mistakes by watching you. The world needs more people who can acknowledge their weaknesses and say 'sorry!' when they've done wrong. Help your children become those kind of people.
5. A good mom talks to her children. A great mom talks with her children.
I get it. Your life is crazy, it's a miracle you get from one activity to another sometimes, so communication is sometimes more informative than anything else. When was the last time you spoke
with your child and actually
listened to what they had to say to you? You've raised your children since they were babies in diapers and sometimes it is hard to remember that they actually have a unique identity and viewpoint that they will share with you if you let them. Take time to listen. A favorite quote of mine by Catherine M. Wallace sums up the importance of listening.
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A rare photo of me and my girl |
Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you,
no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little
stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff
when they are big. Because to them, all of it has always been
big stuff.
Keep doing your best, loving your children, and trying. Remember. The biggest difference between a good mom and a great one is that a good mom has many great intentions while a great mom acts on them.