Tuesday: Improve your Marriage (Part 2)

How are you doing from last week’s goal in Improve Your Marriage (Part 1)? Let me just tell you in advance that I wish you the very best for this week- as it is one of the toughest, albeit worthwhile, things that you can possibly do in marriage.

Control. Your. Tongue.

Yes, words can be used for good- lots of it- but today, I want to focus on not allowing anything negative about your spouse out of your mouth.

As clearly stated by Jeffery Holland, “Words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged, and they can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined.”

Imagine it for a moment. Think of your last few weeks, months, years, (even decades?!), and imagine the fights, problems, and hard times that could have been prevented by controlling what you said about your spouse.

Now, I don’t mean to say that you cannot discuss (appropriately) problems or issues that may arise- but there is a clear difference between,

“I can’t believe that you just went out and bought a new car! You didn’t even tell me! This is so frustrating!” and

“What an idiot! Ugh! Why on earth would you buy a new car? Does you not realize our financial situation!? Moron! Anyone in our shoes would NEVER buy a brand new car!”

The tongue is a small muscle, but if you can control your impulses to speak negative things to and about your spouse, your marriage will be so much happier! And, stepping away from marriage, your life will benefit.

It isn’t easy. It really, really, isn’t easy. If it were, you wouldn’t hear about so many marriages falling apart. Here are two ways to accomplish this seemingly impossible feat.

1. When you are upset and just want to let those words fly at your spouse, remember a time when they opened up to you, one of those moments when they showed you what was in their heart: admitting a weakness, telling you something incredibly personal, or telling you why they truly loved you. Imagine your spouse in that moment, as a human with weaknesses, and what your angry or upset words would do to them. Think about the hurt it might cause- and refrain.

2. Make a list of things you just adored about your spouse before you were married. When you are about to just let some negative remark slip, think of one of those things. “Ugh, she is being so selfish! Everything is all about her! But, she IS an amazing mother.” Think of what it is that you adored about them and use it as leverage NOT to say something awful.

So, easy? Of course not. But if you CAN accomplish this and truly not let an insulting phrase leave your mouth, you will be able to show your spouse how much you really do love them- even if they really are being a giant, stupid, selfish jerk for a minute or two.

Let me know how this works for you! Feel like you've got it down pat? Continue with Improve Your Marriage (Part 3) and Improve Your Marriage (Part 4)

Extra: Just for Fun

Monday: Why I am Not Fat

Obesity epidemic. In America, more than 1 in 3 adults is not overweight, but obese.

I can’t speak for men- but I can give some perspectives from a woman’s side. Weight issues are EVERYWHERE. Regardless of a woman’s current weight, we are always looking to lose something. 5 pounds, 10 pounds, that belly jiggle, or those un-firm thighs. As soon as we accomplish one weight loss goal, we are unsatisfied and find something else ‘wrong’ with us to fix.

You  know how easy it is to get sucked in.

This is how I got out.

In junior high, all of my friends and I were always on some diet or another- no sugar, no carbs, low calorie, crazy workouts. This might make sense, if any of us had a real weight issue.

We didn’t. We were shopping the size 0-2 racks.

How could we be so obsessed?

Then, one day, as everyone was drinking their diet sodas and talking about the latest binges that they had gone on, “Ugh, last weekend, I TOTALLY went off my diet and ate an entire buffet table, I swear!” I realized something. I realized that this was not how food was meant to be eaten. It just seemed so….. off. And so I decided.

I would rather be a little overweight than have an obsession over food and an eating disorder.

So, off I went.  I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. I didn’t focus on calories.

This is what I found.

Once I had my mind wrapped around the fact that I could eat whatever, whenever, there was no need to binge. Or eat extravagant meals. If I bought a giant Symphony bar, I could eat just a few pieces and finish it later. Because I knew, , if I wanted some, I could have it. I had no need to eat every last piece of food on my plate- I could eat until my body was satisfied, not until my mind had finished its binge.

Over the years, my weight has fluctuated a few pounds here or there, but I have found that I mostly don’t notice. I don’t really shop by size, but more by what fits. And the best part? I don’t get fat. I go to a restaurant, eat what my body needs, and stop. It satisfies.

The moment you categorize in your mind that there are ‘bad foods’, there, in the back of your mind, is a list of every ‘bad food’ you have access to- and when your moment of resolve fails, you rush to every one of those bad foods and shove as much as you can inside of yourself. I know, because I have experienced it.

I can’t lie: there are those times (especially right after a baby!) where I think for a moment or two “Oh, no, I can’t eat that- I need to lose weight, and control eating, and exercise twice a day……..” But, before I get too engrossed in this thinking pattern, I remind myself: I’d rather be a little overweight than have an obsession with food.

So, I don’t get fat. I just eat normal portions, and the best part? I LIKE MY BODY. It isn’t perfect- and I know that I am my harshest critic- but I like it. I count myself lucky to be able to say that.

Extras: Chocolate Fountain: Without the Chocolate Fountain!

For everyone that loves chocolate fountains, but, perhaps, doesn’t love the mess, prep, cleanup, etc…… You’ll love these! So simple, and you can prep dozens for a large group dinner or party.
Ingredients:

*Chocolate chips
*Mini marshmallows
*Hard cookies, crumbled (Oreos, chocolate chip cookies, etc.)
*Strawberries (bigger is better)

1- Hollow out a large strawberry

2- Soften mini marshmallows (2-3 per strawberry) in the microwave

3- Put the mini marshmallows inside of the strawberry

4-Dip the bottom of the strawberry in chocolate (place on a piece of wax paper to prevent the chocolate from sticking)

5- Drizzle the top lightly with chocolate, then sprinkle crumbs from the cookies on top

Voila! It’s your chocolate fountain- without the mess and cleanup! Yum!

Before and After!

Friday: Hunger Games I Heart Peeta T-Shirt

Hunger Games.


Obsessed much, America? I know I am. And if my Hunger Games book club party isn't enough, how about a DIY t-shirt? (Perfect for the hostess of said book club party...)


This is how I made my Hunger Games t-shirt. I like the rough, almost unfinished look. Makes it more District 12-ish. (I know, obsessed...) Hope it works well for you!

Step 1: Collect your materials. You will need:

                *Black t-shirt

                *Red and black

                  clothing paint

                *Transparent tape

*Print out of “I PEETA” and print out of the mocking-jay symbol (I used Word, Rockwell Bold Font, size 175 and just looked up a mocking-jay symbol in black-and-white to print out)

*Box cutter

*Piece of cardboard (at least the size of your paper)

*Sponge paint brushes

Step 2: Using your box cutter (BRAND NEW BLADE), cut out the letters in “I PEETA” (the blank spaces become your stencil)

Step 3: Use your box cutter to cut out the colored parts of the mocking-jay symbol. Remember that the white of the cut out will be your stencil, so you will likely end up with 5-6 pieces

Step 4: Apply transparent tape to the back of your stencils (note: if you have a hard time with the mocking jay symbol, you may want to have an extra printed out to use for reference when you put it together)

Step 5: Pour the white and red paint in separate pools on a plate (disposable is best) and use your sponge brush to paint on the letters, white for the words, and red for the symbol (think of the coloring of ‘I ♥ NY’) Use a blotting, soft stroke to make sure that you don’t get paint UNDER the stencil. You want all of the paint to stay contained. Another thing that helps is to paint, again in  a blotting stroke, slowly in one direction

Step 6: Remove the stencil carefully, making sure not to smear the letters/character

Step 7: Allow to dry for at least 4 hours

Wear and show your Hunger Game/Gale lovpride!

PS: Check back each Friday for... FREEBIE FRIDAYS!!! GREAT odds of winnin. Just sayin'.

Just for Fun

My Girl...

Thursday: 4 Ingredient Soft Sugar Cookies!

When I lived in Japan, I decided to have a クッキー会(kukki kai) or a cookie-making party. I had received some sugar cookie mix in a package from my mom, but it wasn't enough for everyone. My Japanese companion, in all of her wisdom, taught me this recipe for sugar cookies- made with pancake mix! We compared the two cookies, Betty Crocker vs. Pancak Mix. The clear winner? Pancake mix cookies! Here's the recipe!

3 cups of pancake mix (reduce by 1/2 cup if you prefer crispy, flat cookies)
1 stick (8 Tb) butter/margarine (softened)
1 cup of sugar
2 eggs

*Cream together the butter and sugar
*Add the pancake mix
*Stir in the eggs

*Once everything is combined, roll out onto a floured surface, cut your cookies (1/4-1/3 inch thick)
 (note) the dough is soft, so use a spatula to move from floured board to the cookie sheet
*Place them on a lightly greased cookie sheet
*Spread the cookies far apart, as they expand significantly during cooking

*Bake at 350 for 7-10 minutes (until just barely browned on the bottom)

*Allow to cool and decorate as desired!

Here are some ideas:

Frost normally, then mix 1/2 cup of white sugar with 2 drops of food coloring. Sprinkle it on top





Reese's chocolate peanut butter eggs
*lightly ice one cookie with chocolate frosting

*place another cookie on top and then swirl/stripe
*1/4 cup of melted Reese's peanut butter chips with 1 Tb of oil
*1/4 cup of chocolate frosting, melted (slightly) in the microwave
*top with   1/2 a  mini Reese's cup






As always, check back each Friday for your chance at Freebie Friday's giveaway!

Thursday: Crazy Delicious Salsa with CANNED Tomatoes

For this week’s snacky cakes Thursday, you get two recipes for the price of one! And since there is no charge to read this blog, that means two recipes for the low, low price of free.99!

First!
Crazy delicious, fresh salsa that uses CANNED TOMATOES. You won’t believe a good salsa would have canned tomatoes- until you try it!

*1 can of black beans

*1 can of corn

*1 can of diced tomatoes

*1/2 bunch cilantro

*1 bunch of green onions

*1 avocado

*1/2 cup lemon or lime juice

*onion salt and pepper to taste

-Mince the veggies up

-Drain and rinse! (like, 2-3 times) the corn, black beans, and tomatoes

Gently combine the fresh veggies, corn, beans, tomatoes and juice. Sprinkle in onion salt and pepper until you are satisfied.

A couple of serving suggestions…. Heaping spoonful on corn torillas- eat it like a taco. Or, of course, traditional on a chip. This salsa makes it easy for me to get my veggies for the day- and you can keep it fresh in the fridge with a lid. (although mine rarely lasts more than a day, cause it gets eaten...)


PS: Make sure to check back every Friday for Freebie Friday giveaways!

Wednesday: Disney vs. Reality

Wednesday: Hollywood vs Reality 2

Wednesday: Hollywood vs Reality 1

Tuesday: Improve Your Marriage (Part 1)

As I tried to write a simple article on how to improve marriage, I realized that marriages are truly a complex beast and no one simple solution to improve marriage really exists (at least to my knowledge). The only things that have helped me surmount problems in my marriage have taken time, patience, and hard work. Because of that:

This April is my unofficial “Improve Your Marriage” month.

Meaning, that every Tuesday this month, I will put a small article on improving marriage. One tip each week. Take that tip, apply it during the week, and check back the following Tuesday for another article. Apply that tip, and, well, hopefully things are a bit smoother for you by the time May rolls along! These tips can help the best marriages AND the not-so-blissful ones improve.

This week:
Your spouse is an adult.

This can truly be a hard concept to internalize. Before you were married, you managed your money, you bought your food, you chose your job- really, you did it all on your own. Once married, it is all too easy to think of your spouse as an extension of yourself, meaning you still want to decide how you as a couple will do everything. You may still want to decide what money goes where, what restaurants to go to, what clothes should be worn, when and how the cleaning needs to be done:  the list continues. If one spouse is a little more forceful or dominant (I certainly can be), it is hard to let them make their own choices, since you may want to STOP them from wearing that AWFUL shirt, or NEVER allow them to let the baby touch the kitchen floor.

Because, well, that’s how you do things.

Remember, though, that your spouse is an adult. While some things need to be compromised on (you can only put the baby on the kitchen floor right after I mop or we can only spend $_ on entertainment each month, etc.) there are many other things that you need to just let go.

So, maybe your spouse eats those horribly fattening french fries? Or always spends their blow money on video games? Or loooooves that TV show that you just can’t stand? Let it go. While you ARE a married unit and DO need to make decisions as a couple, there are many things that you can just let your spouse do on their own. Maybe your spouse won’t choose what you do, but as long as it is a decision that won’t cause long-term issues in your relationship, just take a breath and let them choose.

Remember high school? Remember how you and your friends all wanted independence to choose for yourselves without the ‘tyranny’ of your parent’s rule? And how you couldn’t wait to move out and do things all for yourselves? It’s the same concept. No spouse wants to be treated like a high school teenager.

Try it out, if just for a week. When your husband comes home with that DVD that you can’t stand or you catch him wearing tube socks with Birkenstocks, just let it be.

Your spouse will appreciate it. Reply to this post with your results!

Doing great so far on Part 1? Check out Improve Your Marriage (Part 2), Improve Your Marriage (Part 3), and Improve Your Marriage (Part 4)! Good luck and best of luck!

Mondays: The "Pleasures" of Being a Mom

As a new mom, I do a lot of thinking about my own mother and how she raised me. I ALSO do a lot of thinking about what kind of kid I was growing up and speculate on how my daughter may turn out. Then, of course, I think of all those things I did growing up that probably just about killed my mom.

*Like the time my sister and I took turns wearing roller blades and pulling the other one around by sticking the plunger to the other’s tummy. I can just imagine my mom about threw up when she saw us.

*Like taking every folding chair and table out, plus every blanket not already on a bed outside to build forts- and then it started to rain

*Like how my brothers and I would build a pile of pillows at the bottom of the stairs and see how high we could jump from without getting hurt

*How I cut my hair to the root when it stuck out at the wrong angle (and blamed it on a neighbor, I might add)

*How we would pull the trampoline up next to the house and jump out of bedroom windows onto it

*Or, even better, about how once I turned into a teen, I took my daily shower using three clean towels, every day. No re-use. Meaning I put 3 towels every time I showered into the dirty laundry…. Good thing that I had a big family so my mom could never truly identify me as the culprit….

So, I can’t help but imagine what on earth my little one is going to grow up doing. I wonder sometimes how on earth she survived each day, knowing what HER little ones would sneak off to do. But, since it didn’t kill her- maybe I’ve got a chance.

What’s the worst thing you can remember doing as a kid that probably just made your mom want to throw up?

Cool Quote

Go John Lennon

Crafty Friday: Easy DIY Sugar Scrub from Ingredients in Your Cupboard

This is another simple way to pamper yourself- and for a far lower price than what you would get charge if you purchased this on your own.

MIX:

*1 cup of white sugar

*2 ½ cups of brown sugar

Next, ADD:

1 cup of olive oil

3 Tb vanilla extract

1 Tb of cinnamon/nutmeg mix

Pour into a jar for gifts or into single serving use pouches for yourself! The sugar softly scrubs away your dead, dry skin, and the olive oil soaks into your skin and softens tough, dry areas. WONDERFUL for a hand or foot scrub.

Mix ‘em up and have some fun! Makes great gifts, too!

Friday: Crazy Easy DIY Soothing Bath Salts

Today's Crafty Friday project is about as easy as you could hope for. 3 ingredients and BOOM. You have bath salts. It is nearly impossible to ruin these.

MIX:
*1 cup of ice cream salt/ rock salt

*3 Tb of almond flavoring (you can do vanilla, mint, etc. Whatever calms you most)

* 1/8 tsp of food coloring


You're done! I like to put my in single- serving bags, 3 Tb each. These bath salts are perfect for a foot soak or a nice, long soak in the tub. Aromatic and soothing!

Gotta love Conference....



I can live with this!

Just for kicks....

Thursday: Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie! 5 ingredients- no bake!

Just starting out

This week, for Snacky Cakes Thursday, you'll find yourself in a rich, creamy, peanut buttery chocolate heaven. Reminiscent of T.G.I. Friday's peanut butter pie, this dessert takes just a few minutes to prep and a freezer.

Ingredient List:
1 cup smooth peanut butter
1 cup chocolate chips
1 8 oz container of whipped topping
1 can of sweetened condensed milk
4 oz (1/2 block) cream cheese

Spreading melted chocolate

AND
of course. 1 graham cracker crust




*Melt the chocolate chips in the microwave, stopping to stir every 20 seconds or so
-spread 3/4 of the melted chocolate on the bottom of the graham cracker crust

Mixing the filling...

*Soften the cream cheese and peanut butter in the microwave (think warm, gooey, but not hot)

*Mix the peanut butter, whipped topping, sweetened condensed milk, and cream cheese in a bowl until smooth

Swirled chocolate

*Pour into graham cracker crust

*Swirl the remaining chocolate on the top of the pie

*Add Reese's mini peanut butter cups to garnish if you so choose

*Throw this bad boy in the freezer for at least 1 hour and pull out 10-15 minutes before you want to dig in. (Note: Because there will be a layer of solid chocolate at the bottom, cutting it will take a little bit of force.)

Makes a creamy, crazy-satisfying dessert. After all, if you are going to splurge your calories, why not make it something that will actually satisfy your sweet tooth?




Make sure to check back on My American Confessions every Friday for.... the beloved Freebie Friday giveaway!!!

Wednesdays: VOTE! Team Gale or Team Peeta?

VOTE!

Team Gale or Team Peeta

Wednesdays: 5 Ways to be a More Productive Stay at Home Mom

Let’s face it- being a stay at home mom IS work- but without the regulated hours or regular pay of a regular 40 hour work week, leaves YOU, the mom, in charge setting your own work, goals, etc.

Here are 5 tips on how to be more successful as a stay at home mom

1- When possible, wake up before the rest of your family (namely children) shower, dress, and get ready for the day. This will automatically set your mind in go-mode, preventing you from being sluggish and unproductive throughout the first hours of the day

2- Any physical exercise, even just 15 minutes a day, will release extra endorphins, giving you some extra energy. Additionally, a little cardio can help you work out anger/frustration (which can’t help but give you more patience with your children)

3- Each night, before going to sleep, jot down a to-do list for the next day. Even if you aren’t able to accomplish everything on your list, you will find that simply having them written down will help you to do more than if it was just on your mind

4- Have one long-term goal (eat better, work out, finish an art project, sculpture, quilt, garden, etc.) and do a little bit of work on it each day. Stay at home moms are busier than ever, so giving just a few minutes a day over time will result in a substantial result that will surprise you.

5- Tune out the TV. Have favorite shows? Ones you can’t miss? Just choose even one hour of TV that you normally watch and substitute it with listening to the radio for an hour instead- that hour of programming that you miss will quickly turn into something far more important: an hour playing with your kids, a cleaner home, a better dinner that evening….

However, make sure to remember that as a stay at home mom, your number one priority IS your children: If you ever have something that seems to come above your children, re-evaluate yourself a bit. In five years, will you remember that half hour that you laughed and chased with your children? Or your spotless floor? Just be careful to keep a balance.

It's important to be productive, but make sure that you are happy, too, or you risk resenting your sweet children. Here's 5 Ways to be a Happier Stay at Home Mom.

Tuesday Newsdays: Hunger Games Weekend and Baby Shots

Baby at the doctor's

This week was relatively eventful: baby had her well-child visit to the doctor where we learned she had acid reflux.... sad baby..... and got her shots. She cried right when she got her shots, but as soon as I picked her up, she was fine, as if she had forgotten the ordeal already. Which would make sense, as it seems she forgot ME this weekend....

They gave her silver bandaids-
Like they were WANTED her to
pull them off herself....

I took a mini road trip with my mom and sisters to visit my eldest sister for a Hunger Games viewing and party. I was away from her for a total of, what, 52 hours? And when I first saw her when I got home, it was like she didn't know who I was....

Which is entirely unfair, since I had taken her about a month ago for a week in Texas, and when we returned home, she was smiling and laughing with her daddy like she didn't know how she lived without him.

Ok, Sam looks a little tired,
but I love the little monkey baby

I guess she's just a daddy's girl.

The baby I missed this weekend

But returning to the Hunger Games.... we went with a fairly large group and as we discussed how we felt about the movie, the critiques were so mild that I am quite certain there is very little wrong with the movie at all. Like my sister-in-law's "In that one scene in the cave, the blood looked fake on his forehead." Yup. That was it. That was her whole critique. But I wonder- after having all those Twilight movies come out with "Team Jacob" and "Team Edward", will there be a similar "Team Peeta" or "Team Gale" debate? If there is.... I MIGHT just be Team Gale. Maybe. And let me just say that a weekend away with my girls- a blast and a half!

And looking over this particular blog article today, seeing only pictures of my baby- you can see where my mind was all weekend, even if I wasn't home.